Dancing in "Study Hall"

Dancing in “Study Hall” is my first time in four years participating in a project as a dancer, collaborator and performer.

In 2021, I suddenly developed a chronic pain condition that took me from dancing every day to being bedridden for months. After an exhaustive research and diagnostic journey culminating in a fibromyalgia diagnosis, I pieced together a holistic approach to pain management and healing, learned to walk again, and took the first steps toward returning to dance.

When Emily reached out in 2023 to invite me to be a dancer in her new choreographic project, I was excited, nervous and full of questions. Moving, collaborating and performing with other dancers was a goal that last year’s me considered an impossibility. Was I ready to move with other people? What if my pain flared up? Would I be able to speak up during rehearsal if I needed to stop? Would I be creating movement that felt safe on my body? After a wonderful conversation with Emily, in which she patiently answered my barrage of questions, I decided to take the plunge. 

Now fast-forward to this month. I’ve reached a place where there are stretches of time when I can dance without thinking about pain; I just get fully absorbed in co-creating with my wonderful peers, and in those moments I feel completely free. In those moments, I’m not working towards dancing, I am dancing! And it’s so exciting and it fills my heart with joy.

Dancers Jocelyn Reyes, Erin Yen, Rebecca Fitton, and gizeh muñiz vengel in rehearsal for “Study Hall.” | Image description: A collage of four photos, each with four dancers caught mid-action in a studio. The four dancers’ bodies are arranged differently in each of the photos.

When we first started rehearsals in January, simply being in a studio with other dancers was enough for my pain symptoms to flare up. Emily would give us a movement exploration prompt and I would experiment with the idea while spending most of my energy on my mind-body techniques to calm my pain response. The environment Emily created, where I knew that I had the option to speak up, take a break or adapt the movement was crucial to my ability to move through all the physical sensations without freaking out. I gradually acclimated, building trust in the space, the people and the movement with each rehearsal.

“Study Hall” has been such a fruitful experience. As a director and choreographer, I’m always aiming to create a safe, welcoming and comfortable creative environment for my dance collaborators, so it’s been really nice to remember what it’s like to be on the other end of things. True to the title, “Study Hall” has been a great place to study - a space where people like me can feel safe enough to dance! I look forward to our remaining rehearsals together, and to continuing to brainstorm healthy dance environments with my “Study Hall” peers.